by Jarrette Wright-Booker MA, LPC-S, CAADC
Sometimes life changes so suddenly that the person you were before the shift no longer exists. A breakup, a job loss, a death in the family, or even a move can upend your world. When the dust finally settles, people often expect to bounce back, but what happens when life doesn’t go back to normal?
That’s where the real rebuilding begins.
The Illusion of Getting Back to Normal
It’s common to long for the comfort of what once was. But truthfully, normal might not return in the same way, and that’s not always a bad thing. We often equate healing with returning to who we were before the pain. In reality, healing usually means learning how to live differently after the storm.
You may find that some relationships no longer fit. Your values may shift. Even your daily routine might need a complete rewrite. This process can feel uncomfortable, especially for high achievers or caregivers who are used to being in control.
The Emotional Aftermath of Change
When life changes drastically, it’s normal to feel lost. Anger, sadness, confusion, and even numbness can all show up at once. These emotions are signs of your mind and body trying to make sense of new realities.
For Black women and men in particular, there’s often added pressure to be strong, to keep going, to not let it break you. That expectation can make it even harder to acknowledge that you’re hurting. Giving yourself permission to not be okay is a radical act of self-compassion.
Steps to Begin Rebuilding
- Pause before planning. You don’t have to fix everything at once. Give yourself space to breathe and process.
- Reflect on what has truly changed. Identify what’s gone, what remains, and what could be rebuilt differently this time.
- Reconnect with support. Healing rarely happens in isolation. Talk with friends, faith leaders, or a therapist who can help you make sense of the transition.
- Create new routines. Small, intentional habits can help you regain a sense of stability.
- Be patient with the process. Growth is rarely linear. It’s okay if some days feel heavier than others.
Finding Meaning in What Remains
The storm may have taken things from you, but it may have also revealed truths you couldn’t see before. Sometimes clarity only comes when the noise of what was once familiar fades away.
Rebuilding doesn’t mean erasing your pain. It means choosing to live in a way that honors what you’ve survived.
Moving Forward
If you’re struggling to rebuild after a major life transition, you don’t have to figure it out alone. The compassionate and grounded therapists at Introspective Counseling in Detroit are here to help you process, reflect, and rediscover your footing as you move forward.
Reach out today to begin your next chapter with support that honors your story and the strength it took to get here.