Do you feel supported in your relationship?
Maybe your relationship suffers from infidelity, parenting issues, or lack of shared responsibility
Have you and your significant other drifted apart from each other? Is there a lack of intimacy and connection in your relationship? Does it feel like all the fun is gone, but you don’t know why?
Perhaps you and your partner have trouble communicating your needs and you feel like you’re always arguing in circles. The same old conflicts rear their ugly heads and neither of you can ever achieve any resolution.
Or maybe your relationship isn’t full of yelling and arguing, but you’re not feeling loved. Communication isn’t happening. You feel alone and unsupported. Somewhere along the way, you and your spouse just stopped feeling crazy about each other. Deep down, you may ask: Were we ever meant to be together in the first place?
When you’re dealing with depression, it’s easy to mask your pain and pretend everything is okay. Rather than risk being vulnerable with others, maybe you put on a smile and resort to people-pleasing behaviors. Over time, however, the disconnect between how you feel and how you present yourself probably continues to grow. Your desire to keep up appearances may make you lonely and exhausted. You probably wish you could be real with other people, but you don’t feel comfortable doing so.
If this is the case, we encourage you to pursue depression treatment with us. You might be looking for solace in other people, but here at Introspective Counseling, we believe that we can help you find that solace within yourself. Our goal is to care for you the same way you care for others and help you achieve deep, lasting healing.
Conflict Is Inevitable In Every Relationship And Marriage
Relationship conflicts can arise for any number of reasons. Maybe your partner cheated on you and it’s a struggle to rebuild trust. Or perhaps you simply can’t seem to please your partner, no matter what you do. Your relationship may feel one-sided—you end up doing everything around the house and they never lift a finger. Your spouse always leaves you to care for the kids, do the dishes, and tend to all the household needs.
Regardless of what issues are behind your relationship struggles, we encourage you to pursue couples therapy with us. Here at Introspective Counseling, we want to help you and your significant other solve communication issues, increase intimacy, and deepen your love for each other.
There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, despite what your social media feed might suggest. Two people bring different expectations into a relationship and it’s virtually impossible to see eye-to-eye on every issue. Conflict is inevitable. That’s why the key is not avoiding conflict, but preparing for it. The question is not “How do we get rid of conflict?” but “How do we manage conflict in a way that’s healthy?”
Sadly, many couples feel embarrassed about their disagreements and communication issues. Other people generally don’t talk about their relationship struggles, which makes many couples feel alone. Social media is littered with rosy engagement pictures and cute anniversary posts—nobody posts their dirty dishes and screaming kids. As a result, couples often feel pressured to hide their grievances and act like everything is fine and dandy.
Many Couples Don’t Seek Therapy Because They’re Afraid Of Being Judged
In the Black community, there is often a stigma surrounding therapy. Many of us are told to just pray about our issues, go to church, or talk to a friend. In many circles, sharing relationship problems is seen as taboo. This only intensifies the pressure to brush our troubles under the rug and pretend we have it all together.
Couples and marriage counseling is a chance to escape this stigma and freely be yourself. With us, you don’t have to worry about being judged for your struggles. We know how hard relationships can be and we want you and your loved one to have the gentlest, most compassionate support possible.
Let’s be honest: part of you may be hesitant to come to counseling. You and your partner may worry that all you’ll do is argue and that talking about your issues will only make them worse. Thankfully, our approach to couples therapy is not about rehashing old arguments. Our goal is to help you and your significant other get to the bottom of your issues rather figure out who’s right and wrong. We are not here to point fingers or choose sides—we are here to help you collaborate on goals and figure out ways to increase intimacy and connection.
What to expect in sessions
Getting started with Introspective Counseling is very straightforward. Prior to your first appointment, you and your partner will fill out your own separate intake questionnaires. In the first session, your couples counselor will review the areas of your relationship that need work and help you come up with goals for treatment.
From there, each session will focus on practical skills that you can use to improve communication and emotional expression. Instead of focusing on the other person, you will learn to concentrate on your feelings and your needs. We want to know: how do your conflicts make you feel? When your partner leaves you to do the dishes or fold the laundry and doesn’t help out, what kind of emotions come to the surface? Over time, you will learn to communicate these feelings instead of pointing fingers, helping you resolve conflict more easily.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to counseling—that’s why we adjust our treatment plan depending on each couple. That said, one of the main approaches we draw from is called the Gottman Method. The goal of the Gottman Method is to help you increase closeness, manage conflict, and create a life of shared meaning together. We also use an approach called Prepare-and-Enrich. This approach is all about identifying the strengths in your relationship and the areas that need work. Prepare-and-Enrich can help you be more prepared for conflict and learn to navigate it peacefully.
No matter how stuck you feel, dedication is the most important thing. As long as you and your partner are committed to solving your relationship issues, there is no challenge you can’t overcome and no mountain you can’t climb. With our support, we believe both of you can deepen your love for each other in ways you never imagined.
tailoring your treatment plan
You may have some questions and concerns about couples counseling...
What if my partner doesn’t want to come?
Oftentimes, people are hesitant about couples counseling because they imagine a therapist will tell them how to live their life or take sides with their spouse. Our approach is just the opposite. You and your partner are in charge of the healing process and we are strictly “team relationship”—there is no favoritism here. Although we cannot make decisions for your partner, we would be more than happy to talk with them about their concerns. In the meantime, it’s always a good idea to pursue individual counseling and do your part to improve your relationship.
Our relationship isn’t that bad. Do we really need therapy?
Most couples wait to pursue therapy until they “need to.” The problem is that by that point, resentment and hostility have usually set in and it’s much harder to make things right again. That’s why it’s good to be proactive and seek help while your relationship is going strong. You can be more prepared for future conflicts and avoid having to invest extra time and money in your relationship.
Are you going to tell us to break up or divorce?
Your relationship is in your hands, not ours. Our goal is to help you find the answers within you and figure out what’s best for you and your partner. Whether you break up or stay together is your decision. If you do decide to go your separate ways, our aim will be to help you dissolve the relationship as peacefully as possible.