You wake up, check your emails before even getting out of bed, knock out your to-do list like a champ, and maybe even squeeze in a workout or a grocery run. On the outside, you’re handling business. You’re showing up for work, for family, for friends—being the dependable, responsible, get-it-done person you’ve always been.
But inside? You’re exhausted. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually drained. You’re not okay, but admitting that feels like a luxury you can’t afford.
If this sounds familiar, you might be dealing with high-functioning depression. And before you brush that off with a “Nah, I’m just tired”—let’s talk about what that really means.
Depression Doesn’t Always Look Like Staying in Bed All Day
For many Black women, high achievers, and those who’ve had to be “the strong one” their whole lives, depression isn’t always obvious. It doesn’t always show up as crying spells or struggling to get out of bed (though it absolutely can). Sometimes, it looks like:
- Being on autopilot. You’re getting through the days, but there’s no joy, no spark—just checking off the next task.
- Irritability and frustration. The smallest things set you off, and you don’t even recognize yourself in your reactions.
- Constant exhaustion, no matter how much sleep you get. Fatigue that doesn’t go away with rest isn’t just “being tired.” It’s burnout’s evil cousin.
- People-pleasing to the point of depletion. You’re the go-to person for everyone else, but when was the last time you checked in with yourself?
- Numbing out. Scrolling endlessly, overworking, binge-watching, or even overindulging in food, alcohol, or shopping—anything to avoid sitting with how you really feel.
Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone. And more importantly, there’s nothing wrong with you. But we do need to talk about why this happens—especially in our community.
The Weight of Strength: Why We Don’t Ask for Help
Let’s be real—many of us were raised to believe that struggle is just part of the package. That being tired, overworked, and emotionally drained is the price of success. We’re told:
- “Just pray about it.” (Faith is powerful, but so is therapy.)
- “You don’t have time to be depressed.” (Yet somehow, there’s always time to show up for everyone else.)
- “What do you have to be sad about?” (As if accomplishments cancel out mental health struggles.)
Culturally, there’s an unspoken rule that we have to be strong at all times. That vulnerability is a weakness. But here’s the truth: constantly carrying everything on your own doesn’t make you strong—it makes you tired. And you deserve more than survival mode.
How Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Can Help
One way to break out of this cycle is through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Unlike traditional approaches that focus on eliminating negative thoughts, ACT helps you change your relationship with them.
What Does That Even Mean?
ACT is built on six key principles, but at its core, it helps you:
1. Accept your emotions instead of avoiding them.
Instead of numbing, suppressing, or trying to “fix” your feelings, ACT teaches you how to acknowledge them without letting them control you. ○ Example: Instead of thinking “I shouldn’t feel this way”, ACT helps you say, “I feel sad right now, and that’s okay. I don’t have to fight it.”
2. Defuse from negative thoughts.
Our minds love to tell us scary stories (“I’m failing,” “I’m not good enough,” “I have to do everything myself”*)—but that doesn’t mean those thoughts are true. ACT helps you separate yourself from unhelpful thoughts instead of getting stuck in them.
3. Identify your values and move toward them.
Depression keeps you stuck. ACT helps you reconnect with what actually matters to you—whether that’s joy, connection, creativity, or peace—and take small steps toward those values, even when it feels hard.
4. Commit to action, even in small ways.
You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. ACT helps you take meaningful action even when you don’t feel ready. That could mean reaching out for support, setting a boundary, or simply taking a break without guilt.
So, What Can You Do Right Now?
If you’re nodding along thinking, Okay, you’re talking directly to me, now what?—here’s where we start:
1. Give yourself permission to feel.
You don’t have to “earn” rest. You don’t have to justify why you feel the way you do. If you’re struggling, that’s reason enough to pause and acknowledge it.
2. Start small with self-care (the real kind).
Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and candles (though, if that helps, do you!). It’s setting boundaries, saying no, asking for help, and resting without guilt.
3. Challenge the belief that you have to do it alone.
Strength is knowing when to ask for support. Therapy is a space where you don’t have to perform, where you don’t have to have all the answers. It’s where you can just be—and that’s enough.
4. Take one step toward support.
ACT teaches us that even small actions in alignment with our values make a difference. Maybe that means reaching out to a therapist. Maybe it means taking five minutes to journal about how you really feel. Whatever it is, start where you are.
You Deserve More Than Just Pushing Through
If you’ve been wearing the mask of high-functioning depression, it’s time to take it off. Not for anyone else, but for you. Because you deserve joy. You deserve rest. And you don’t have to carry it all alone.
At Introspective Counseling, our warm and culturally competent therapists are here to help you navigate this journey through depression therapy. If you’re ready to prioritize your well-being without guilt, let’s talk. Because strength isn’t just pushing through—it’s also knowing when to pause and heal.
📍 Serving Detroit, Southfield, Farmington Hills, Bloomfield, West Bloomfield, Troy, Ferndale, Royal Oak, Warren, Sterling Heights, Livonia, Redford, Dearborn, and Dearborn Heights.
Schedule a consultation today. Your peace is worth it.
